Wow, what timing?

In Tears

I have this program that someone gave to me a very long time ago and I am finaly using it. It's a prgoram that you can do scrapbooks on and since I don't have the time to do a "real" scrapbook I figured this would be a great way to do it and then go somewhere and have them printed. I was working on Tanis' book and pulled out the cd's with all her baby pictures on it.

On that disk are several videos, of which a few of them are of my grandmother. I have not been able to view these videos because my MAC wasn't able to do it, but, I gave it a shot today, and since this computer has Windows on it, bam, they played.

You would think that after 2 years of her being gone, almost 3 in March that this would have been easy. But, I haven't heard her voice in almost 3 years, and a day before she passed away. It hit me like a rock. I viewed just two videos and I can't stop the tears.

They are of love, of joy that my baby girl, if only for a moment, got to meet the other mother of my life, my one parents I could always count and the one person that loved me unconditional.
They are tears of sadness because now, only Michael is the one who really got to know her, who loved her, and misses her with me.

Tanis and buddy will never get to know either one of their three grandmothers and that saddens me to my soul. And not only that, besides the few pictures I have taken, I have come to the realization that I don't have that many pictures of my grandmother, and because I had a step-mother who thought that she could scrap book and went through all my pictures and destroyed them all, I also have very few of my own mother.

Im not sure if these will load, but I'm going to give it a shot anyways.

Yay, I'm excited

I am beyond excited right now. I got news that my oldest will be here in less than a month. I so can't wait. I msised seeing him for Christmas because of my surgery and the complications and I wasn't going to see him until his spring break at the end of April, but now, he will be here in less than a month. Oh how I feel a part of me will be returning, even if it's for a short period of time. I can't wait to hug him, squeeze him, cuddle with him, and kiss him all over. 

Oh my goodness, I know I say it a lot but I can't believe how big my two youngest  babies are. My oldest is going to freak when he sees that his 3yr old sister is probobly 3/4 of his 10yr old size and his little brother is half her size. lol. Oh how I love my babies.

Tan and baby boy (who's leaning on daddy an not even fully standing up) Can you believe she's 3 and he's only 7 months old!!!!

Buddy on his new toy from Miss D. It's awesome. Its a rider, then a push toy, then a scooter

Look mom I can do it by myself!

Miss Tan riding it the scooter way



My 100th Post and It's all Pictures

I don't really have much to update on except the fact that I love the way my babies get along. Tan is making such a fantastic big sister. I love it.

Tan giving brother some love

Mommy and son, please excuse the blah-ness of the picture as I took it myself :)

Tan in her brothers bumbo, he doesn't fit but she does so it's now going to be her booster seat. She's so darn skinny

Brother watching sister in his bumbo. He thought that it was super funny.

Wow my kids are HUGE!

I had to take buddy in to the Dr's yesterday. He weighed in at 19.9lbs. Hello, he's only 7months old and he weighs as much as a 1yr old. So, even though it was a Dr's apt I asked them to measure him and ......guess what....he's almost 30" tall. That's taller than a 1yr old. It's not going to be long and we are going to have to get him a convertible carseat. I am so happy we spent a little extra money on the infant carseat that will accomidate him until he's a little bit bigger.
I love that he is growing and striving but it makes me so sad sometimes. He is my final little baby. I watch him growing and it kills me inside because its like his baby-hood it being taken away from me way too soon. It's not fair. Why does my final baby have to be the one to grow up way too fast. He's not as indipendent as Tan was at that age, so I am happy for that. He still loves me to hold him, he will lay asleep in my lap. When he does, I just sit there and stare at him, so peaceful and my heart fills with love and happiness.

You can't really tell in this picture, but he's wearing 12 month clothes and they just fit. He got an 18 month pj for Christmas, the darn thing fits him. lol.

Miss Tan, she's only 3 and she's the size of the average 5yr old

They are beautiful if I do say so myself!

Finally!!!

Finally, after months of agony and teething our little dude brought in his first tooth yesterday! To say I was a proud, excited, happy mommy was an understatement. Now, if the happiness can follow through to his Dr's appointment today that would be great. He's been sick since a week before Christmas, coughed so hard yesterday on the way to get daddy from work that I had to pull over and check on him. He was blue so I had to take him out of the carseat until he could catch his breath. Ugh! Talk about scary.