Yes, we are still here.....

A lot is happening, a lot that right now I can't really put in to words. We are hoping to move at the end of the month and that is going to be fantastic, as long as everything works out. We will finally have space.

Tanis is doing great. She's an absolute fantastic big sister. She has come in to her own bossiness, helpfulness and her speech is coming along great. I love having my one little girl to dote on. She's my cuddle bug.

Michael is a straight A student (at midpoint right now) and he just makes me so proud of him. Now if we could just put some weight on that kid. lol. He's so darn skinny it scares me, but my family reminds me that that's what I looked like at his age. I can say he eats like a horse so it may just be his motabolism. He will not be here for Christmas, again, and that just tears me apart. This will be the third year that he is not with us. Next year he will be, but that's a nother year away. He's not really looking foward to not being here, but it has to be. Things are really tough with him, but unfortunately I can't be too public about it because I never know when someone is going to hold one single word against me now. Sad. We are going to give him our one big family present before he leaves and then he will do Christmas the night he returns. (because the day after he gets back we are supposed to start moving)

Nolan is still.....blah. At the begining of January he is going to be having a endoscopy (throught the mouth and to the intestines) and a colonoscopy done. He will have to be put to sleep for this procedure and that scares me. Its going to take about three hours, and I know I'll be on edge the whole time. Thankgoodness for my cousin because she will be watching my other babies and I know I won't have to worry about them at all. Because of what he is having done, 24hr ahead of procedure he will be put on medicine to clean out his tummy. This in itself is going to suck. The poor kid already has diahhrea and stomach cramps, now we have to give him medicine to make it worse. And no solids, only clear liquids/foods for 24 hrs before. The good thing is that he will be able to have juice/applesauce, etc during this time so he will love that. These are foods he's not normally aloud to have because of the reaction they cause to his tummy. :) Wish us luck.


This is something I love about CO, being able to drive around and see Deer in random yards. They are so pretty, although I'm sure the persons whos plants he's eating doesn't think so.

All my babies

Nolan fell asleep while grocery shopping after having a very bad night. Of coure he couldn't wait for us to get home so mommy could take a nap at same time :)

Brother and sister sharing breakfast in a bag

Sharing breakfast in a bag is a regular occurance :)



Shingles, you don't have to be 60 to get 'em

Shingles, something I "though" only older people got. Apparently I was so so wrong.

 It started about two weeks ago. I had a migraine that lasted almost 4 days. Not out of the ordinary since I get them often because of the thyroid issues. So I ignored it. Then, I broke out with what started as painful bumps all over the back of my scalp. ONo problem, I get psoriases in the winter, so that's what that had to be, right? Then, each one of my lymph nodes around my neck and shoulders swelled up very bad. They were beyond painful. The one under my chin, yeah, couldn't even bend my head down. Then the one that's on the lower part of my neck next to shoulder, couldn't move that arm at all or turn my head the slightest bit to the right without the pain surging through my shoulder and down my back. Then a huge red welt looking line formed from one of the scabs/lups on the bottom right, down my neck and then back up towards my ear. (I found out later it was going towards a lymph node and this is called Lymphangitist,where  line forms from the infection site towards the closest lymph node, and its VERY VERY painful line) So I decided, along with the hubs pushing, that it was time to go the ER.

I get there and its beyond packed. And of course, I left my wallet at home. That totally sucked because I fed the babies and took off with the full intention of getting someting out of the vending machine. But, my awesome cousin came to the rescue and brough me some much needed nourishment. :) Thanks B.

So, after a couple of painful hours (and I mean pain almost as bad as giving birth people) I was taken back. The Dr came in pretty quickly and told me what it was. I asked him if he was sure, and he said yes. I told him that all the ads say that older people need to watch out for them, the vaccines are ONLY for people 60 and older. How did I get it?

He said its part of the chicken pox virus that sort of stays behind (kind of like once you get a cold sore, you carry the virus and they always come back). And a major factor in younger people that causes it is stress. Yay.

So now I am on two different kinds of mediation and pain meds. It's going to take about 2wks for the bumps to go away, but there is no known time frame for the pain to go away. This is not good. We are looking for a house, I'm trying to find a job so the stress level isn't going to go away any time soon.

Stress people, is not good. First the husband gets a massive ulcer and now this. All I have to say is there better be a good ending to the end of this year!

Good Morning....Blizard anyone?

We have a Blizard/winter storm warning and around here we've learned to take the warnings with a grain of salt. However, today, they were right. We woke up to snow already on the ground and the temp at 6am this morning was a mere 23 degrees. Now, at almost 8am its a warm 27 degrees. (and our wind chill is blah, with winds up to 50mph) Our high today is going to be a hot 34 degrees. So, I sent the hubs and son to school all bundled up and bid them farewell.

 Right now the roads are pretty scary and of course Michael goes to one of the only schools in the Springs that isn't closed or on a delay. Poor kid. Hubs called me when he got to work and said that his speed maxed out at a whopping 25mph. On one major road he had the person in front of him spin out. Yay. Our police department is on whats called a "weather allert" which means if someones not hurt, dying, or in really bad need don't call them. Not only is it not safe for you to be on the road it's not safe for them either.

This also means that the kidos and I are pretty much on lock down in the living room. The heaters in this dreaded apartment are floor heaters, like the ones in hotels. The one in the babies room, SUCKS! Not only that, they cost a damn fortune to run. So, we have the heaters going in the living room and will only use the ones in their room at nap time. (before and after because they get really damn hot to the touch) Being in the living room suchs because it's super crouded with boxes and crap. It's going to be  fun cuddly day. lol.

This is obviously our paitio furniture. What you can't tell is that it's not only snow, it's FOZEN solid.I went to pick up one of the pillows and they were stuck to the couch. lol.

For some reason I can't get this picure to load the correct way, but you can see the gloom in the sky. And the snow on the ground is actully frozen.

Brought the kids toys in the living room. Bring on the mess :)

This is the heate. It gets pretty hot and so I have to make sure it's not on when I put the baby to bed. Otherwise he's bound to get hurt since he's my little trouble maker and gets in to everything.



Being a surrogate

I have this "aunt" who it totally awesome! She isn't technically my aunt but she was my moms best friend from school until my mom passed away. I really got to know her when I was visiting CA one summer way back when, and of course, like my mother, I fell in love with her. We don't talk all the time, don't see each other often, but when we do, it's like we never stopped talking and nothing has changed. I am sure it's just as hard for her as it is for me, because when I see her, I think of my mom.

My aunts kids are just like her, awesome!

She has a daughter who has a great big heart, and awesome daughter, and is an all around great person. She is now taking the opportunity to help another couple have a family. She is going to become a surrogate. She has already started her journey and I wish her nothing but love, support and a shoulder when she needs it.

Please join me in following her through her journey. She is very new to the blogging world, and the surrogate world so if you know anything, can help, can pass on words of wisdome, etc, I bet she would love to hear from you.

My Surrogate Journey

Congrats my friend, best of luck and a big giant hug to you and your baby girl A!

It's Snowing

The snow came in last night. We are supposed to have between 3-10" of snow here in the Springs with the high today of 31degs, and the low tonight of 18degrees. The kids are loving watching the snow fall down and we have an awesome fire in the fireplace. And of course this is only going to last a day or two. By Fri our high is back up to almost 65.

I am going to try to keep track of snow we get by taking pictures of the ledge of my patio. I will update laster.

These pictures were taken earlier this morning. Will take pictures later after more snow hits. It hasn't stopped the slow snow all morning.

A Missed post....Tans Birthday

I just found my camera with all of Tan's Birthday pictureson it. That's what happens when you are packing, you find a lot of missing items. I can't wait to be out of this damn apartment!

We just did something small at home and she got a cake that was supposed to look like a lego, but let me say, they did a crap job,especially for a specialty designer.

I can't believe that my little girl is 4 years old already. Time goes by so fast. She is an amazing person to watch grow and learn. She makes my heart swell with pride and love! I look at her and I am so grateful that God blessed us with her. I just wish that her grandmothers were here to watch her grow up, like they were here for us.

Happy Birthday Baby Girl!

Tanis and her cake, she loved it and that's what matters!

Our girl loves to color and draw

This was her baseball set that she got. We opened it, and she started to play it in the house, and the first ball went through the living and to the wall opposit in the dining room. We then decided its a toy to play outside.She loved it!

 You load the balls in to the red container, she steps on the little red button on the bottom, and the arm lifts up so that the black thing will attach to the velcro on a ball and set it up for her. She loves it! She will be our little sporty princess.

First snow last weekend

We had our first snow here last weekend. It was so nice, relaxing to watch out the back door.And Michael got to see is first snow. He was in awe. A little surprised when we told him it was nothing compard to what it can/will most likely be like when winter is really here.

This weekend we are back in to the 70's with our lows at freezing. My hormonal butt is loving the cold nights.

Tanis wanted to go out and do snow angels already. We had a complicated time explaining to her that it was only a little bit and not even near enough for snow angels yet. lol.

These were taken the day after our minor snow storm, but these mountains are abot 10 minutes from our apartment. Don't you just love the view!

Pikes Peak being hidden by the clouds

Dr. Update

First, I have to say, the GI specialist we went to this week, ROCKED! She might not know exactly what the problem is, but she's more than willing to try what she can to figur this out. Here are the points of what she says:

* she thinks that all this most likely started with a virus/stomach bug, etc and that his digestive track just hasn't gone back to normal. So, we arestarting him on  twice a day, 7 day antibiotic, then a pill once a day of a stomach bacteria (good one) added to his drink, for 12 days. Then we will wait and see how he does for two weeks and go in for a check up. all of this she is hoping will get his stomach back to normal with normal functions and normal bacteria.

* so the plan is to take him off milk and fruits for the next five weeks. This is because even if he's not lactose itollerant, lactose can make diahrrea worse and so can the natural sugars in frui. (we tested and it made it way worse! This sucks however, because  he loves his fruit and cheese- so this weekend I went and got the vegie cheese and he loves it. He also took really well to the pedia sure and soy milk.

* we will be putting him on a pedia sure that is prescription only three times a day. It's non-dairy and thankfully covered by insurance

* test for a whole slew of food allergies just in case, stool sample testing, and an array of blood tests
(we did this yesterday and since he has had a couple of nurses in the past not do so good, he freaked right away. it took myself and two other nurses to hold the poor guy down just to draw blood)

* she sais last but not least there is something that is called toddler diahrria, and it can last from 1yr to 4yr. Ok,  hate to say it, but no way in HE!! am I going to let this go on for the next 2yrs. No way jose!

*We go back in five weeks and I am hoping this all works out so he can stop with the poop and the pain.

As of yesterday, after being on the meds for three days, he seems to be doing better. We shall see what happens after he's done with the whole process and we wait it out a little The last few things we've tried worked for a very short time, then it came back even worse.

So, there you have it. The best news I've had yet, she's trying, and it seems to be doing good so far. There is a glimmer of hope out there.

Can you say twins?

I'm at my whits end.....

My poor son, my poor family, UGH! That's about all that I can say right now. Little dude has been having major stomach issues for about the last three months. We are talking about diarhhea that is so bad we've had to take apart his car seat, (which was not easy at all) clean the seat and under it in our truck, we've had to throw away a ton of clothes, sheets, etc. Not to mention all the pain the poor boy has been in during this whole time.

It started out with his Dr thinking it was just a virus so we were told to change his diet, and still nothing. We were then sent to Denver (over an hr drive from here) to Childrens Hospital GI Clinic. They checked him for everything. Crohns desease, celiac desease, and other issues. They have yet to find anything. So they said that it might be from a virus that he had but his digestive system just wasn't going back to normal. So they said to add probiotics to his food once a day and to make sure he got at least one to two servings of yogurt a day. We've been doing that for over a month, and not much of a change. To say it's wearing us down is an understatement.  We are talking about a baby that is in pain off and on all the time, he wakes up in the middle of the night in wrenching pain, endless soaking and laundry, tons of diapers and wipes, and did I mention with all the laundry that keeps having to be done our water heater keeps going out. Our apartment maintenace manager has been here but they just have to keep restarting it because they can't figure it out.

This past Sunday, I was out during the morning and I got a phone call from the husband. He said I needed to come home ASAP because it was bad. Well, I've seen bad but figured it had to be dealable. I was so wrong. It was so bad, that the little dude required two baths, the blankets, stuffed animals, night clothes, sheets, etc that were in the crib were not salvagable AT ALL, not to mention the crib. It was so bad, we ended up having to tear it down and go get him a temporary toddler bed. (when we move-more info on that in Nov, he's going to get an actual twin bed). It was in every nook and crany.  Thats how bad it is.

Last night he was sleeping all great in his new toddler bed (which has been an effort to get him to do since it was such a drastic quick change) and at midnight he woke up screaming, balled up on the floor. When you pick him up or hold him he just wants to curl up and you can see he's in so much pain.

I hate feeling helpless as a mom, not being able to fix it, or at least make the pain go away. It's drianing on him, us, our family, etc. The other kids are losing attention because it's mostly spent on the baby boy, us parents are losing a  lot of sleep, and slowly losing our minds. He has an appointment Fri and I am praying each night that they can figure out what is going on with him. Everything they suggested isn't working. I have no idea what to do now. I've done research and everything it could be they've already tested him for. We shall see, but this time, I'm not taking the "Lets waits and see" game. No way in hell on this one now.

His first night in his bed, after about 2 hrs of getting him used to it

Today, his first nap where he stayed in his bed.

Miss Tan was so proud she made her bed. I've asked her if she wants me to make her a new blanket (the one with the care bears is about 2 yrs old. its brown on the other side) and she won't give it up. Not to mention the array of stuffed animals on her bed. She's come sucha long way to being such a big little girl. Oh how I love waking up to her smile every morning.

September

Septermber in this house was pretty uneventful.

I had my 32nd Birthday. Holy cow I can't believe I'm that old already lol. It's all good because I still get carded, so that's a plus right? :) At least for my ego.

At the end of the month we celebrated our 5th Anniversary. I can't beleive we've been married for 5 years already. With all that we've been though it feels a lot longer.We've been through more than most people married 50yrs.  I wouldn't change any of it for a million dollars. We have been through many ups, down, many many losses, but we make it through each day together. We try to take advantage of each day, because we know, with all our family losses and health scares, what each day can mean. Here's to 50 more years babe! I love you and our beautiful family!

Michael is doing great. School is awesome and he loves it. (doesn't get that from me). He had his progress reports a couple of weeks ago and he's got straight A's and B's. Oh how happy it would make me for him to make Honor Roll his first semester back. The only thing that mind bungle that up in band. We have no idea how he was placed in it, but he will be leaving the class in two weeks so we are hoping he can keep his grades up for the rest of the time and then he will be set. He makes us so proud of him.

Mommy and baby boy! Isn't he so handsome! Just like daddy!

Mr. Cutie

Tanis, baby boy, myself, my little cousin and my cousin's dog Zoie. She's so adorable!

And yes, she thinks she's a baby most of the time. lol .

Can you tell, he HATES hats.

She loves them!

If Tan sits on the floor, little dude has to sit with her. She asked him to get up......

So he stood up......

  Then she changed her mind and they sat and watched TV like this for a little while

August

Wow, what a month. Michael just got home at the end of July. The fourth was Tan's 4th Birthday. I can't beleive my little girl is already 4 years old. She's so big, so tall, so smart, and makes me so proud of her all time. She's such an awesome little girl. I couldn't ask for anything more.

Michael started school this month. He loves his new school, although he does have to wear a uniform. He placed in Advanced Math and Advanced Laguage Arts. (English) and that makes me even more proud of him. He didn't do great in school in CA and now I have all the faith in him that he will be back on his way to honor roll once again.

And little dude got his first buzz cut.

Little Dude before his hair cut

After. Now he really looks 2 or 3. lol.

Sleeping on mommys lap (which only happens when he's sick )

Deer at the apartment down the street. I love this area becaue we are so close to he mountains that we get all the awesome weather and beautiul animals.

A rainbow we saw as we were pulling out of the drive wa to take Michael to first day of school

My prud 6th Grader on first day of school

My baby girl

I love seeing this view all the time. It takes my breath away

Baby girl cuddling with mommy

July

Well, July was pretty eventful and ended on fantastic note. I am so excited to say that this month ended with us getting my son back, for good. Michael is (as of end of month) now back home with us for good. I am so happy that he is home, and that he is where he really wants to be. The trip to CA was nice. I got to spend some time with my cousin, I got to see my dad and just be back for a little while. Not to mention I got to come home with the best luggage ever, my son.

Daddy and little dude

All my babies togther

Nolan in urgent care (his home away from home)

Myself on day of court

My dad, Michael and me!

Me and my dad

My dad and Michael

 Tan playing with her little brother